Hate Me
by Revebjelle
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke rarely ever gives himself the time to think... Just a little practice!one-shot I wrote at like, 4am .


**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: ohhhh man I DON'T EVEN. I ONLY UPLOADED THIS AT THE REQUEST OF MY KAWAII DESU BUGGU-CHAN OKAY DON'T HURT ME. i was just practicing... before i wrote something REAL but NOOOO... anyways yeah i hope you like it, ggggg.

naruto is not mine and if it was i would not be TAUNTING FANGIRLS with all of this unrequited love crap. )8

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It was cold tonight; dark, quiet save for a few brave crickets - a nice night for the boy whose eyes matched the atmosphere so well. He sat just outside his Master's literal hole in the ground, letting his coal-black eyes adjust to the inky darkness. He was thinking, something he didn't like to let himself do a lot of - he couldn't handle it, try as he might to supress his emotions.

In the three years he had been away from the village he was born into and turned his back on, he had conditioned himself into something of a robot. His actions were simple and well-constructed, and he did what he did not because he wanted to, or because he enjoyed it, but simply because he had to. He had to get stronger, had to perfect himself, and there was no way around it - that was the only reason he had done any of this.

And yet he wondered, sometimes, when he perched himself atop a rock or a stump and stared out at the expanse that lay itself before him, what things would have been like. He could have stayed, could have lived the rest of his life out in that village. It may not have been a long life, but maybe he could have been happy. He would have been different, everything would be different... but it would that be right? Would he have the constant nagging that no, this was wrong, he should be out there trying to get revenge, or would he feel more at home than he had in a long time - since his parents were alive?

His thoughts flitted over his brother; he wasn't here to think about him, that would only make him angry. Instead he turned his insights to all of the people of Konoha that he had come to know. The squealing hens that flocked to him, that fawned over ever move he made; his time in the Academy and his time training under Kakashi; his teammates, Sakura and Naruto.

Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke closed his eyes, leaning back on his arms and tilting his face to the sky. He had done all he could to make the other boy hate him - and he would continue to do so. But Naruto was determined, just like himself, and maybe Sasuke knew that better than anyone else. No matter how much he wished differently, the blond-haired boy would continue to try and find him, to try and bring him 'home,' and Sasuke was torn. Torn between a stifled desire to make sure the boy was okay, for all his recklessness and rushing head-on into everything, and a half-hearted wish that he would never have to see him again, because he wasn't sure how many more times he would be able to turn his back on him, to walk away with his sanity and the mental capabilities to deal with the pain of leaving him... over and over and over again.

It killed him to know that this was killing Naruto, that the boy with so much against him in this world wanted nothing more than to bring him home, and he couldn't let him do that. He could go back, and maybe if he did everything would be the way it was when they were younger, when they were first assigned to the same team, when they had first begun to really know each other...

Sasuke had gotten closer to Naruto than he had ever thought possible. After Itachi did what he did, completely destroyed everything that Sasuke had ever known, he didn't think he would ever let anyone else in. He didn't ever want to open up to anyone else, ever again, and then came Naruto with that huge goofy grin, and that was it. Not immediately, of course - there was nothing beyond rivalry at first - but as soon as he met Naruto he could feel that things would always be different, whether or not he wanted to admit it.

He was better than Naruto, and they both knew it. Sasuke needed to be better, stronger, because that was all he could do - and if he hadn't been, what would Naruto have had to work up to? Sasuke was reknowned as the best, maybe the strongest of the Genin in their age group, and Naruto... no one took Naruto seriously, and he desperately wanted them to. So they worked closely together, forming a rivalry and then a bond, something closer than friends and even brothers and yet something they couldn't quite name at the time.

Through all of this the other boy would come to be his dobe.

He couldn't understand why he couldn't hate him. Time and time again he would catch up with him, and time and time again he would rip Naruto's heart out and crush it under his feet. He could see it in his eyes; it was the one time they weren't focused on the future but rather on the past, on what the two had before the night Sasuke abandoned the village. Behind the sadness that lines those eyes there was hope, a hope that Sasuke tried to tear down every single time they met. Naruto had himself convinced that he would bring Sasuke home, that one day maybe Sasuke would have a change of heart and realize that he belonged back there, with him, and sure the reception would be icy at first but things could fall back into the way they used to be... and it was Sasuke's job to try and dent that hope, because it didn't matter how much he wanted to go back, he couldn't. It would be giving into weakness, and Uchiha Sasuke would never do such a thing. No matter how badly it tore him apart from the inside.

And though he didn't understand why, he knew that Naruto would never hate him, not really. He could - and would - continue to knock him down every time he got near him, and Naruto would just get back up and chase after him again. Was he really just an idiot who couldn't get it through his head, or could he sense that Sasuke always had this dull ache in his chest that he could hardly ignore, nevermind erase?

No matter what, he would not let him know how much he wanted to go home...

He opened his eyes then, turning his head towards the way he had taken to get here.

"Sasuke-kun," Kabuto greeted him flatly, emerging from the dark-censored path. He pushed his glasses up in the way that he always did, managing to catch the only bit of light just long enough for his glasses to glisten.

Sasuke ignored him, looking forward again.

"Orochimaru-sama sent for you," the silver-haired young man informed, "he has a mission for you."

So he stood, blocking out his thoughts once again, trying to compose himself in a way that Kabuto wouldn't pick up on - trying to empty his head as he followed the medical-nin back underground.


End file.
